She still touches you, but she no longer feels you
She looks at you, but she no longer sees you. She talks to you, but she no longer communicates with you.
She’s with you, but she is no longer present with you.
Like she used to
You’ve lost her.
You think it’s the beginning of the end,
when the truth is that it ended long ago.
It ended when you weren’t looking when staring
it ended when you weren’t paying attention while taking notes
It ended when the minutes to respond to your text message turned into hours, missed calls and ‘busy’ schedules.
It ended when she stopped initiating the conversation with you and you turned elsewhere
It ended when enjoying each other’s company turned into uncomfortable silence,
Each visit turned to war zones
It ended when she stopped telling you what was on her mind because you stopped asking.
You were hearing her, but you stopped listening to her.
The silence became commonplace.
It became home.
It became normal
You thought the silence meant that she had nothing to say,
when it was actually screaming at you that something was wrong.
You told her you loved her,
but you stopped showing it.
She wondered if you meant a word you said
You were careless with her love, her time,
and worst of all,
You left her starving, emotionally
You forgot that love must be maintained and tended to every single day, not sporadically.
You forgot that you have to love her when you’re tired.
You forgot that you have to love her when you had a bad day.
You forgot that you have to love her when you’re angry.
You forgot that you have to love her when she’s angry.
You forgot that you have to love her when it’s difficult to love her.
That’s how you lost her.